The Big C Hits Again

Cancer. Don't you think cancer is such a bitch? It's even more of a bitch because it'll just spread to wherever it wants. 

The world could do better without cancer. I did a paper on breast cancer recently. It is the number one cause of death in women all around the world. No surprise there.

Last time I asked you to pray for my grandmother. This time round I'm asking you to please pray for my grandfather.

We recently found out that he has colon cancer. It sounds so scary. I don't know much details. We don't know what stage the cancer is at now. We'll have to wait for after the surgery to find out. 

They say, God has a plan worked out for us. I've put some thoughts into it. What are His plan this time? Don't get me wrong. I'm not blaming God for all of this though. I'm just wondering, why my grandpa? Why now when he's in his 70s? Is it possible to trade places with him? I would volunteer, any time any day.

My grandpa's surgery will be on next Tuesday. And what sucks is that that is the day I'm heading back to KL. The timing this month has been a pain in the ass especially for me. I wish I could stay in Malacca, to help out after the surgery or something. Or to just be physically present there.

My family members haven't exactly told my grandparents the truth about the cancer. My grandpa knows that he has to go for an operation but he thinks that it is just because of some ulcer and growth. They call it polyps (?), no idea what that is. But the lab report showed that the growth is positive for cancer. 

I'm pretty confident that the surgery will go well. I read an article online about colon cancer just now. I pray that the cancer cells have not metastasize and spread to other areas or else chemotherapy and sometimes radiation may be necessary. Chemotherapy is another bitch. I've seen my aunt go through it and it sucked the energy out of her. I'm afraid my grandpa will be too weak for it

And get this, the risk of getting colon cancer increases as you get older. What kind of sick joke are you playing, world?

I'm trying not to think so much about this.

God, I know I don't pray often but this time round, please please please take good care of my grandpa. 

She's My Hero Too

It's Mother's Day! And I would like to give a HUGE shoutout to the world's best mother, MY MOTHER. 

Thank you for everything that you've done for me for the past 21 years. Actually words cannot describe how thankful, grateful and blessed I am to have you in my life. 

For 21 years, you have constantly been worrying about me. Heck, even before I was born into this huge, monstrous world, I was already keeping you at your feet. 

Thank you for providing more than adequate care and love for me when I was young right up til' now when I'm a young adult

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to get knowledge and education even if it means you'll worry even more now that I'm 2 hours away from home

Thank you for your constant calls just to check up on me. Almost often when you call, you'll ask if I've eaten. And more often than not, you'll always ask me to take care just because you can't physically be here to do so yourself. Thank you again for the genuine care

Thank you for all the money that you've spent buying me food, clothes, books, necessities and even my own car

Thank you for bringing me on trips. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to go to all these beautiful places and experiencing all sorts of wonders of the world. Hong Kong, China, Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia and Europe just to name a few. Even Paris! I've never imagined to visit and be on the Eiffel Tower! THANK YOU because you made that dream come true

If I were to continue listing all that you've done for me for the past 21 years, this would be a never ending post

You are definitely a super mom, juggling so many things yet still able to be there for your family, for me. 

I'm sorry for the times that I've been rude to you. The times I refuse to heed your advice. And also for worrying you a lot.

Sorry also for not saying the words 'I love you' enough. But just know that everytime I hug and kiss you, every ounce of my body is screaming those 3 letter words. And I'll continue to do that til' you get tired of me 

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I am what I am today all because of you. And dad also :) 

Thank you for providing me with the best family! I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. 

I LOVE YOU! Sending back hugs and kisses to you! 

Run

I just recently got in touch with this song again (Run by Leona Lewis) while watching Vampire Diaries.

Funny how every break up song can be linked to how much you miss someone who passed away. And since I have not been in a relationship before, hence no break up for me so it has to be the latter.

Despite her being away for 5 years, it still brings tears to my eyes remembering every single detail during those last few moments with her. 

Just the other day I had a heart to heart talk with a close friend. It was sort of relieving but to bring up all those memories, it sort of dampens my mood these few days. 

Yesterday also I had a sudden realisation that things can never really be the same again. While it was almost impossible to meet up with a best friend yesterday, it hit me that in the following years, we might only meet one another once or twice a year. 

Can things really remain the same? Even with the advancement of technology, with our individual schedules, we often have to leave messages in each other's inbox and wait for the reply from the other party. There isn't really a time when 3 people can be online at the same time.

And video chatting couldn't possibly substitute for it. There's no personal touch to it. And it depends on the Internet connection also, which often in my case is terrible like shit.

Regardless of all that, I'm still thankful for that opportunity to meet up. It felt like everything just fell into place. Whether it was a coincidence or not that my trip was cancelled at the last minute could also be a blessing from God. 

Sometimes I feel guilty for putting friends first before family. But close friends are like family to me, theoretically speaking. They're just not blood-related but sometimes I feel that they understand me better than my family. I feel bad that I am more comfortable confiding in my friends than my own flesh and blood. 

I have so much to let out but I can't because of the possibility of hurting the people that I love. It feels so frustrating sometimes but really, what can I do about it? 

I feel really uncomfortable with this dark aura around me recently. I want things to go back to the way they were, however naive and stupid that might sound. I need things to be okay again so I can concentrate on more important things. I want to fix them but I don't know how to and where to start. 

All I can possibly think now is to run away from there. Run far enough to leave that trail of thoughts behind.

Off To Penang

Yup, this is another late post.

Recently, I had the chance to visit Penang with my uncle, aunt, aunt's sister, aunt's sister's daughter and aunt's sister's maid. Haha. So that's 5 adults and 1 kid in the car. 

I haven't been to Penang in so long! The food in Penang is to die for. 

First thing we did when we entered Penang Island was to get to Pulau Tikus. We had the famous char kuey tiow and Penang Asam Laksa. Yummy. 

Food makes me really happy :D :D :D

Then we headed to buy some Penang tau sa pia. I don't know what it's called in English but it looks a little something like this. 

Damn cute, right? XD

Checked into the Hotel afterwards to change into some swimwear. I didn't bring any cos I thought we were going skinny dipping. O.O

The happy kid

And off to the beach we went! We headed to Batu Feringhi (how do you spell it? T.T) No pictures for this cos I was busy building my failed sand castles and playing in the not so clean sea. But fun time, indeed.

Later, my uncle and aunt had this whacked out idea of going to Hard Rock Cafe so that the little girl (not me) can play the slides there. 

FYI, only guests can play/ swim in the swimming pool area cos you're supposed to wear some hand tag. Canggih siot the place. The little girl just went in and played like a boss with her giant float and without the hand tag. Soon after, I joined her :D

I feel like a whale

Anyway, I had my first cocktail. The Long Island Tea. 

I swear, the drink is like never ending. I sip and sip and sip some more but it's still there. And I'm proud to say that I got drunk over a freakin' cocktail. Drunk til' the verge of throwing up. I think I might have sipped too much cos it was getting frustrating. Ya, bad idea. Don't drink alcohol too fast. The aftermath comes to you at a faster pace.

Regardless, I went back to the hotel to rest.

Next day, it was time to go back. But my uncle/ aunt wanted to try some durian. My uncle initially wanted to bring us to try the "Udang Merah " durian. The flesh is supposedly red. 

Something like this I suppose. We didn't get the chance to try it cos it wasn't the season yet. We were there a week too early

:(

So we had ourselves some old-fashioned yellow flesh durian instead

Ya, that one durian cost my uncle RM 68. Crazaayyy @.@

The shop owner said this was a good grade durian. I honestly can't tell the difference because, well let's face it, durian is durian. It's either sweet or bitter. Period.

Though it was just a short trip. And an impromptu one also, but it was fun. Any time or day with the family is fun

:)

Did I tell you, I feel really blessed?

Really blessed.

Loving Your Smile

The title kinda says it all

Smile because you're beautiful

:D

At satay celup in Ong Kim Wee

At Pak Putra

In grandma's house

At Uncle's place in Sentul

Grandma's house

Switzerland

Shanghai

On the way to KL

Rachel's house

My familayy <3 <3 <3

I Pray

I don't usually pray a lot

The only times I pray will probably be

during Wesak Day

and when I'm helpless and need help from God

That's bad, right?

But to compensate that, I do good everyday

Maybe not everyday

But most of the time

My point is...

I don't really have a valid point

But I wanna pray now

I pray that everything will go smoothly for everyone 

 To friends who are away from me ; I hope you're having the time of your life in University

To my family ; I hope work for you is good and you're making tonnes of money

To my grandparents ; I hope that you'll stay healthy for as long as God will let you. I love you.

To people who have to travel to get to University ; I hope you're safe and guarded

To the lecturers ; I hope you're giving your best being an educator

To that guy I have a crush on ; I hope you'll recognise me and know my name

GREAT-ful!

Today I had to spend 2 hours in the hospital, waiting to meet the doctor for my grandmother's follow up check up, which probably took less than 10 minutes.

Which is why I hate hospitals

But in the 2 hours plus, I talked to my aunt about so many things

School, my cousins, education etc

And I realised that I do like her company

In fact, I do like the company of all my family members

I am so grateful for the presence of each and everyone of them

They're supportive of me

They care for me

And most importantly, they love me

If only they knew how much it means to me 

When they listen to me

They talk to me

Not because they are forced to

But because they simply wanted to

It's so simple, isn't it?

I hear some of my friends complaining that their dad doesn't listen to them

Their mom just "doesn't get it"

Their siblings are a pain in the butt

I can't help but sit back and smile, 

Think to myself that

I am grateful that although my family is not perfect, they're still here

And not broken.

Just one of the few things to be grateful about

With that, I thank you, God.

Good Karma and Patience

I feel so much better after ranting in my previous post

Phew

This might come of as a late notice,

But my grandmother is doing so well right now!

My gratitude goes out to everyone who prayed for her

I see God working a miracle

And always believe that good karma will come back to you

It's just a matter of time

The other day, leaving from the Hospital, I saw a RM 10 note on the floor

I was sceptical whether to pick it up

But I did anyway

And no, I did not spend the money

I understand that the money isn't mine to spend

You're probably wondering why I picked it up

The answer is because I know someone else would

And instead of letting it fall into the wrong hands, I picked it up instead

The other day, a guy came to ask for donation for the people affected by a war?

I don't know what his reason was exactly but I see that as a sign

So I gave that money away

Now hopefully, that money can be used to help some people in need

Sometimes I get so frustrated that things aren't going exactly the way I planned them to

But often I fail to see that God is probably working something out for me

Cliche as it seems, but I believe that to be true

If something is not going my way, then it probably isn't God's way

I need to seek for patience

Easier said than done, right?

Please Pray

If you're reading this,

Please pray for my grandmother.

She'll be undergoing an operation this coming Friday morning to remove a giant cyst in her uterus.

Please pray that there will be no complication during the surgery

Please pray that the surgeons will be on guard on that particular morning.

Please pray that God will see her through her surgery and dismiss all major risks

Please also pray that she'll open her eyes and be with us.

I know that God loves her but her family members love her more.

We need her.

I am confident that the surgery will go well.

I am confident in the doctors.

I am confident in God.

I Love You, Mom

In conjunction with my mom's birthday (23 Feb), I wrote her a poem

No that wasn't her birthday present (That's so cheap! But very thoughtful ^^)

It doesn't rhyme

And it's so corny

Hehe

Here goes : 

She cared for me when I was young

She cared for me during stressful times

She cared for me when I was sick, down and disappointed

She still cares for me right up til' now

She pours her love through her scrumptious meals

She pours her love through her kind words

She pours her love by the gentle kisses on my cheeks

She pours her love by her constant support

She is my shoulder to cry on

She is my pillar of hope

She knows the right words to say

She knows when to just listen and be still

She taught me to never give up

She says to always give my all

She says to always believe in myself

Best of all, she says she believes in me

Her kindness doesn't just stop here

She spreads the seeds to everyone else

Her students love her, oh so dearly!

But her family loves her more!

Sometimes she feels so tired

Sometimes it seems like no one cares

Sometimes everything seems so effortless

But remember, often I am always there!

Family is God's gift to us

I am glad to have landed with you

I must have been nice in my past life

Because God gave me the perfect gift

I apologise for not always being nice

I am sorry for times I was rude

I am grateful for your enduring patience

Thank you for always being there

You are definitely my inspiration & my best friend

Without a doubt, I aspire to be you

I am proud to call you my mom

I hope you feel the same about me too!

Mommy & Me!

Again!

Turning Tables

After going back and forth on what course I'm gonna take,

it's finally decided!

No medicine

No pharmacy

Nada.

I'm gonna do psychology.

I'm very sure of it.

Like how a monkey is sure it likes banana.

Not a really good example, but there you go!

Made up my mind yesterday,

On the way to KL,

After sleeping for what seems like 2/3 of the journey,

I finally made up my mind!

I didn't know there were SO MANY job opportunities for a psychologist.

Like you can work ANYWHERE!

In a firm, a corporate company, SHELL...everywhere!

Cos people need constant motivation!

Or the world is just getting even crazier

Okay sick joke. I'm not wishing for that.

I'm sorry.

After reading that DoctorJob mag, which I should have months ago,

But better late than never right?

Anyway, after reading that, I also know the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist

Finally!

Haha I must sound really stupid right now.

:/

But I don't give a damn.

:p

Come to think of it, I've always chosen a career which involves social interaction with other people

First was medicine.

I was so determined to be a paediatrician because I love kids

But let's be realistic, I don't think I can survive competing with all the other doctors-wannabe out there

All the pressure and commitment involved

I think I was sucked into the glamour of it

But when I went for a "one week medicine course" before the JPA interview,

the doctors in GH said

"There's NOTHING glamorous about being a doctor"

Now, THAT'S a bummer!

Then I wanted to do pharmacy

That was before I entered Form 6 and decided that I don't really enjoy Chemistry besides Organic Chem.

Then slowly, that ambition faded into dust.

Finally, my aunt advised me to take up psychology

Which was what I chose without knowing much about, initially.

All I know was I wanted to help people,

Especially children

Like kids with autism because one of my cousins is autistic.

And then came yesterday, which to me was like a wake up call.

I knew so much more about Psychology!

And I love it!

I think it fits my personality.

Today I just needed a little reassurance .

My best friend, Raveena-Mei gave me just that.

She said,

"Yes. I see you being a psychologist because, you are very kind, honest and diplomatic. You know how to give the right advice at the right moment. You're very open and you are very humble, hence if someone argues with you, you state your opinion and leave it at that, you don't let your ego get in the way. And you're compassionate about people. How they feel? How are they doing? You take it upon yourself to make them feel spectacular"

Thank you!

I feel so much appreciation for my family and friends who were supportive of my decision.

After looking through the list of local universities that offer Psychology,

I think there's only one--UMS

And that's really far.

So, let's just stay in KL or Singapore while we're at it.

My parents are okay with me entering a private university.

If all else fails, I'll get into IMU and do my degree

Cos that's the only university that I trust.

And no, I don't think doing Form 6 was an utter waste of time

Because I hadn't decided what course I wanted to take after finishing Form 5

I mean, who am I kidding?

I didn't give a damn about A levels or foundation and what's not after completing SPM

All I wanted was a break

But after pondering long and hard about what I wanted to do,

A-levels was a definite no because it was WAYYYY expensive

I didn't get accepted for Matriculation (I don't think I'd be able to survive either)

Foundation was not in the decision because I didn't know what I wanted to do

So Form 6 seemed like a fair choice

Despite everyone (esp my bro) pressuring me about how tough it is

It IS tough.

No joke.

But I got through it and I gave it my all

Now let's hope the results won't disappoint

Results will be out early March

Now I can go kill myself

I feel like I trailed out of my main topic.

Oh yes, I wanted to reinstate that,

No, I didn't waste my time doing Form 6,

For all you narcissistic, pessimistic goons out there who would beg to differ.

I made the right choice with Form 6

Now I'm gonna do the same with Psychology.

Congratulations for still reading til' here

Thank you if you are still supporting me

:)

Leave a comment, if you must!

Do A Blood Donation

I just realised something wonderful!

After reading my cousin's blog.

To donate blood.

I wanted to last year

But because I weighed a kilo lesser than their weight requirement,

I couldn't.

Since now,

Everyone CANNOT stop talking about my weight

first my height,

now my weight,

what next, eh?

I figured I can go donate blood NOW.

Victory!

Thank you

Lye Hwei Mynn

FAM--ILY (I Love You)

Because family matters most

Glad to see the family is growing!

Hopefully my uncle bears some kids soon!

Helllllloooooooooooooooo...

I am in love with this song.

Kinda reminds me of my uncle's wedding,

which isn't too long ago.

Finally!

He's finally married!

Uncle Stephen & Aunt Katherine

What a way to end 2011!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2012.

It is a new beginning

Weeee~

I have a new principle to add to my current one.

This year it would be

"What Doesn't Kill You Only Makes You Stronger"

I say this because,

I'll be starting Uni this year

I'll be meeting new friends

I'll be in a totally new environment

Intimidating

Yet

Very VERY exciting!

In 2012,

I will...

Tell a guy that I like him

Know how to cook not just egg or instant noodle

Know how to play the guitar

Don't want to list down so many lah

Nanti tak dapat buat, malu aje

:S

I will also pray more

And be more thankful!

I guess that is achievable,

I hope

;)

Oh, and I will turn 20!

People, start taking me more seriously!

:P

My Cousin said...

"Jie, you're the best cousin I have"

Aww, kids.

You can't help but love them

But sometimes you can't help but being annoyed at them

My cousin is the reason I love kids so much

Because...

They're innocent and sweet

They hang on to you

They cheer you up

They bother you at inappropriate times

They don't betray you

They know no hate

Na, I simply love kids because

most of them are smaller than me

:)

Thank you.

I love you too.

Graduation

My brother has finally collected his graduation photos. And boy, do I *ahem* does he look good in it. 

XP

Aldridge Wee.
Successfully graduated as a Mechanical Engineer

Top : ME and Bro
Bottom : Mom and Dad

The flash from the phone partially spoiled the photos.

Oh well.

And another photo of dear Rachel Ho

Top : Rachel and Anna
Bottom : Aunty Aggie & Uncle David

I know that Tabitha is proud of her sister as I am of my brother.

They have successfully graduated, found a job and have received their first pay

:)

I hope you are looking after everyone from above.

Ask God for His blessings.

<3