Don't Wake Me Up

I'm temperamental

I get jealous pretty quickly

I have low self-esteem

I don't make friends easily

I'm short

And most of all,

I'm just ordinary.

Now how do I turn all these around?

Guess, it's just one of those days.

Again, I just want to run in the empty streets, turn the music on and go on til my legs get weak

Picture from Google

Murder mode: ON

The good news is my grandad is recovering well now. The bad news is he's getting picky about his food and more easily irritated.

I'm not feeling very well myself. Physically, I'm healthy. But mentally, I'm just drained out.

How many times do I have to listen to people tell me their problems? Don't get me wrong. I love listening to people, if it means getting some load off their shoulder. But it's another thing when I listen but feel so helpless. Then the feeling of helplessness will turn into annoyance and I will immediately get into "murder mode". "Murder mode" is like the game Fruit Ninja, but instead of slicing fruits, I want to slice people's faces.

I don't know if this is the feeling of helplessness or it's the crazy hormones or BOTH.

I just got off the phone after listening to my friend cry. She cried out her frustration, anger and annoyance and all I could do was say "Calm down". I don't know if I should slap myself for not being able to make her feel better or slap that person who got her in that state.

I don't know.

So many things are happening in such a short span of time. I don't know how I somehow managed to get myself spiraled up in their web of mess.

I just don't know.