Psychology Jokes

Here's some jokes my senior posted on Facebook

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

 " I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure."

 "Once I had multiple personalities, but now we are feeling well."

 "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59 seconds to live.
Wait a minute please."

And yes, it's 3 am and I'm still not asleep. 
No mood to attend class later
T.T

Back To Summer Paradise With You

WARNING : This is a Simple Plan post

Falalalala~

I can't stop smiling watching this video

Makes me more determined to catch them live again when they're back in Malaysia

IF they come back to Malaysia

I'm gonna get front row tickets and touch Pierre's sexy abs

:/

*fan girl alert*

Simply adorable

*dies*

Pierre does not have armpit hair

Oh mai gawddd!!

:O :O :O

You have been warned.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

Just For Laughs

So, I bought this magazine yesterday

Btw, MPH in Mahkota Parade is having some clearance sale

3 magazines for only RM 10!

Amazing offer!

And I read this article "13 lines to get you laughs"

Isn't the title kinda strange?

Anyway, just wanted to share some of them

"Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him., who would you assume is in charge?"

"We say stupid stuff - 'He looks down his nose at me'. Well, of course we all look down our nose. If he could look up his nose at you, either he'd be a freak or you'd be a a booger."

"When a crab's drunk, it walks forward"

"It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue"

I am currently in love with this song

It's funny how we can interpret one song into a few other meanings

Take for example this song

The original artist is probably singing about a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship

But the one on Glee is about a brotherly relationship

Amazing isn't it?

Because That's What Friends Do

I got a text message at about 12.42 am today.

Unknown

Is this Miss Kelsey Wee?

Me: 

Ya who is this?

Unknown:

This is Prem from Fly FM. We like to let you know that you have won the latest Kelly Clarkson's album and it will be delivered to you in 3 days. Congratulations.

Me:

Okay thank you. But I don't remember participating in any contest :S

Today at approximately 9/10-ish am

Unknown :

That's okay. Because Karthik just pranked your ass. Hey Kelsey :)

-.-

I feel like a fool.

Kurang ajar.

I would've been more excited if it was a Simple Plan album ;)

I miss you, bro!

Welcome back to Malaysia!

I'll get you back..someday

I love my totally-inappropriate-SimplePlan-thingy here
Yeah woo!

Dorks - A Simple Plan Post

Maybe I should have been more specific.
A Pierre Bouvier post
<3

JUMPPPPP!

Title Doesn't Matter, Lah!

This is so true!

LMFAO

They are too retarded!

Such a waste if I don't share this video

What Makes You Beautiful?

"Baby, you light up my world like nobody else"

To answer my blog title,

There really isn't a correct answer

Because beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

Like how I find guys without armpit hair beautiful.

Haha!

That's not true

Watch the video below.

It won't take up much of your time.

And catch the part where he said,

"Open your eyes. If you're Asian, that wasn't meant to be racist"

Lol.

And the video below is just to paint a smile on your face

Because

It makes no sense at all!

Smile!

Laugh!

ROFL!

Why DON'T Guys Shave?

I BEG TO DIFFER, PLEASE.

(to the statement underlined, that is)

The Ideal Boyfriend

Gasp! I had too much free time hence the birth of this list.
I wanted Santa to send me
THE IDEAL BOYFRIEND
*Sings All I Want for Christmas Is You*





The ideal boyfriend should be someone who...

Does/ Is Not
1. A smoker/ alcoholic/ both
2. Rude/ abusive/ both
3. Cheat/ Flirt
4. A pessimist
5. Too clingy/ obsessive
6. Too controlling
7. Holds his girlfriend's handbag <--- What's THAT all about?!!!
8. A big spender
9. Lazy
10. Shows Public Display Of Affection
11. Abuses the "I Love You(s)" <--- I'm sorry I'm weird like that
12. Too buff/ vain/ both
13. Too skinny
14. Arrogant/ Jerk-like  <--- complete turnoff! Hmmph!
15. Annoying
16. Temperamental
17. Gay <--- No offence.

On the other side of the coin, he should be someone who...

Does/ Is
1. Has a good great sense of humour
2. Knows how to play the guitar/ piano/ both
3. Courteous on the road
4. Polite & respects others
5. Random & sometimes lame
6. A food junkie
7. Shares almost similar taste in music, food and movies
8. Has a religion
9. A good listener
10. Caring
11. Remembers birthday
12. Good looking <--- Eh, should be no. 2  -.-
13. Loves dogs and loathes cats <---Lol. Just because.
14. A family man/ Loves children
15. Speaks & understands English <--- Patut no. 1 (double -.-)
16. Loyal
17. A gentleman
18. Outrageously loud and outgoing
19. A boyfriend AND a best friend to his girlfriend <--- A definite must!
20. Wears boxers not briefs <--- Boxers are BETTER than briefs   ^^v
21. A virgin <--- Lol. Again, just because.
22. Single

This is starting to sound too unrealistic and ridiculous
Anyhow,
Santa, please deliver a boy like that for Christmas
If that fails,
God, please help me find that someone when I'm 21
Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Avery.

Avery who?

Avery day I'm shuffling.

*cue music*

Haha