That Frown

She is filled with resentment and hatred
She feels bitter towards the world

Every ounce of hope is deliberately gone
Every chance of happiness seems far away
Every drop of tear is now dried up

Everything that she cared about, she lost it
Every single one of it

She cried
She wailed
She called out

But who is there to hear her now?


This does not depict the way I am feeling right now. It was something that I thought about because I can't fall asleep although it's 5.42 in the morning.

Note: I was going to put a picture of a sad clown but I got freaked out by it. Clowns are effing scary.

Random #7

Let me list down all the random things I did/ experience today

1. As usual, my Malaysian Studies teacher is obviously anti-government. Every week during class, I am afraid some ISA dude will barge into class and capture all of us.

2. Everything that I've learned in Pengajian Am is pointless cos I don't remember a thing. And now things get even more complicated because the names are all in English

3. The jam in KL is NO joke.

4. I had to ring my cousin a total of 7 times to wake her up this morning.

5. My cousin did not brush her teeth today. Eeeeww gross.

6. I've spent all my RM 250 book voucher. Yipee!

7. I'm supposed to be back in Malacca now.

8. I'm supposed to be finishing my reflective paper. Alright, back to assignment-ing!

Thank God for the weekend

Twin Towers @LIVE 2013

Double posts today yo!

Today I attended my first World Mental Health Day meeting. It was pretty good. I'm REALLY excited for the events that they have lined up ^^ really proud of myself for finally having the balls to join such a huge "club"

And just last Friday I got to meet the first K-pop band that I like, U-Kiss! Jjang eh!

U-Kiss at Twin Towers @ LIVE 2013

We were lucky enough to secure ourselves fanzone tickets for the price of RM 25 instead of RM 150. HOW AWESOME! But I heard some people got their fanzone tickets for free lar. Pffft.

I met a lot of the Malaysian Kiss Me there. They had placard and the fan club people were selling shirts also. Bersemangat wei. A fan club member gave me this bookmark sort of thing. She actually gave me additional 5 pieces when I asked for more. How kind.

I was so close to the stage. Like 2 rows from the stage. If the 2 rows of people weren't there, I would have gotten the chance to touch Kevin and Eli's hands T.T But overall, I was damn excited to be there. They played songs that I knew. And the dances that they performed were damn sexy :B

ELLISON KIM

KEVIN WOO

KEVIN WOO again

Their complexion is so good. And they shine so brightly. I kid not.

Right after U-Kiss performed, it started raining really heavily and I got tired of standing so I moved to the back. After waiting for an hour, Demi Lovato came out. Wow her vocal range is superb wei! And she's so pretty. Too bad I didn't know many of her songs. I heard she performed til 2 am. Power man. I left the place at 12 am because I felt uneasy since it was quite late. 

Thank you God for making sure I arrived the Residence safely. 

Wished I went for the Backstreet Boys concert the day after. I would have stayed til 2 am for that :(

Next K-pop concert I want to attend is 2PM's. Nichkhun <3 <3 <3

PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!

NICHKHUN 

Wang Lee Hom is currently in Kuala Lumpur. So near yet so far T-T  

I want to attend his Open Fire concert in Genting T-T

WANG LEE HOM

I took this shot at the Twin Towers concert. Thought it was really pretty 

KLCC

Obviously some of the pictures are not mine. Credits to the respective owners

Life Is A Gift

Today before you think of saying an unkind word–
think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food–
think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife–
think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life–
think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children–
think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep–
think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive–
think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job–
think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another–
remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down–
put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around.

The Now And The Then

Wow, it's been ages since I posted anything :B

I've started Semester 2 doing Psychology. Still learning MORE theories and one of my worse subjects, Statistics. Seriously, I thought that wasn't what I signed up for?

Truth be told, nothing really interesting that I can write about

I came across this quote,  "Do one thing everyday that scares you" and I find it pretty meaningful. It's not really easy to keep up with but at least I started somewhere. Since last semester, I found myself being pretty shy, unlike my usual self. I would stutter and have really really low level of confidence during presentations. I also planned on joining a few events but in the end chickened out. But it's all changing now! I made more friends. Even if those who I don't talk to, I at least smile at them. I tend to want to volunteer to speak during presentations. I joined World Mental Health Day but hasn't started on anything. Things are really starting to shape into what I hope university life would be like. I'd hate to leave university not doing anything. So that was overcoming my fear for me, well sort of.

And I donated a bag of blood! There's another blood donation campaign in April. How many months after I last donated my blood can I do it again? Also, I've been thinking of signing up as an organ donor once I officially turn 21. But I'd probably have to let my parents know first.

I also learned to cook better. At least to me it seems better, haha. I just recently learned to cook chicken rice and mee hun kueh because I felt like eating them and I can't find them at my area here. Never in my life did I think cooking can be this fun :D Seriously, TRY IT.

Studies been okay. Assignments piling up but they're manageable I suppose. Hopefully I'll score better in Semester 2 compared to Semester 1. The aim for this sem: 3.25

Fighting!

I've also developed a HUGE crush on Nichkhun from 2PM <3

I came across this song while watching Vampire Diaries. It's so romantic :) I want to dance to this with my future husband. WHERE IS MY BOYFIE/ HUSBAND? I demand you make yourself visible NAAWWWW

I'm also going to watch U-Kiss perform LIVE next week! Kevin and Eli YAAAAAAAAAAA

Run

I just recently got in touch with this song again (Run by Leona Lewis) while watching Vampire Diaries.

Funny how every break up song can be linked to how much you miss someone who passed away. And since I have not been in a relationship before, hence no break up for me so it has to be the latter.

Despite her being away for 5 years, it still brings tears to my eyes remembering every single detail during those last few moments with her. 

Just the other day I had a heart to heart talk with a close friend. It was sort of relieving but to bring up all those memories, it sort of dampens my mood these few days. 

Yesterday also I had a sudden realisation that things can never really be the same again. While it was almost impossible to meet up with a best friend yesterday, it hit me that in the following years, we might only meet one another once or twice a year. 

Can things really remain the same? Even with the advancement of technology, with our individual schedules, we often have to leave messages in each other's inbox and wait for the reply from the other party. There isn't really a time when 3 people can be online at the same time.

And video chatting couldn't possibly substitute for it. There's no personal touch to it. And it depends on the Internet connection also, which often in my case is terrible like shit.

Regardless of all that, I'm still thankful for that opportunity to meet up. It felt like everything just fell into place. Whether it was a coincidence or not that my trip was cancelled at the last minute could also be a blessing from God. 

Sometimes I feel guilty for putting friends first before family. But close friends are like family to me, theoretically speaking. They're just not blood-related but sometimes I feel that they understand me better than my family. I feel bad that I am more comfortable confiding in my friends than my own flesh and blood. 

I have so much to let out but I can't because of the possibility of hurting the people that I love. It feels so frustrating sometimes but really, what can I do about it? 

I feel really uncomfortable with this dark aura around me recently. I want things to go back to the way they were, however naive and stupid that might sound. I need things to be okay again so I can concentrate on more important things. I want to fix them but I don't know how to and where to start. 

All I can possibly think now is to run away from there. Run far enough to leave that trail of thoughts behind.

Come Back...Be Here

I just watched the above video and I have this deep sinking feeling in my gut.

I feel like I am going to throw up.

There's one part in the video where MingH said :

"You think you're alone in this world. But you're not. These people are alone"

And that just made me crumble.

It's true

Even when we feel that no one cares about us/ nobody understands us, we're still not alone.

We can always fall back on family or friends.

We can go back to the comfort of our own home

But what do these people have?

Undoubtedly, they did not ask to have leprosy

Who asks to be sick?

And of course they have a roof over their head, supply of food and friends to accompany them,

But is it the same?

Is it the same when all that they're doing is anticipating for family members to take them home?

Is it the same when they're simply grateful cos other people are there to accompany them?

It breaks my heart

This coming Tuesday, I am going to an orphanage

I think that will probably hurt more than this

This is definitely an eye opener

Never to take things for granted

Scrape off that ego/ shyness of your shoulder

Appreciate friends and family
Tell them you love them before it's too late

This suddenly reminds me of Tabitha